A Simile Topped Up With Corn

I wrote this in class tonight and I can honestly say it’s the corniest simile I have ever written.

I came upon a hill; magic mushrooms were growing in single file, as if the land wore a shirt and I had encountered its buttons…

Let me hear yours!

Procrastination Is A…

horrible disease.

Mind On My Friday

I’m having one of those days where lots of thoughts are circling in my mind but I’m not sure which one to dwell on. Yes, I feel like I have to dwell on one of them. Here’s a brief insight:

Not impressed with the selection of literary magazines at Borders today when all I could walk away with was The New Yorker and I should be eating less food these days and I can’t believe I skipped lunch again and I really hope an old friend is doing okay and what can I do about the real cause behind the argument between the two characters in my novel and I will probably make him the controlling type although I have to rewrite that scene anyway and I really didn’t expect to get those kinds of comments back on my editing assignment last night I mean how are we expected to know what the content is supposed to be well both those fire wardens could be wearing red hats for all I know so am I supposed to pretend one of them was wearing a yellow hat with blue stripes instead and I know that adamancy is a word even if it hasn’t made its way to Australian dictionaries yet damn the ms spellcheck and I think some of those comments are in there for the sake of it and yes I know I am there to learn and I shouldn’t have left the class early because then I could have questioned her in person I really should get her email address and I hope that cabaret show tonight is okay and I hope that Kyles and Scruff aren’t bored by it and oh gawd I am so freaking hungry and I can’t believe I was told at work today that I am too young to write a book and I should have said sometimes that I forget whether my name is spelt with two Ns or not and then let him think that I was serious and that’s it I am going to get something to eat.

The Oscars Meme!

1. Which award was the biggest surprise to you?
The Pimp track winning Best Song and Crash winning Best Film.

2. Which award was exactly what you expected?
Crash winning Best Screenplay.

3. Which nominee do you feel got the award for some reason other than being the best in their category? Explain.
I preferred Walk The Line to Crash. And I mayhaps wish that Mr Pheonix could have tied with Mr Hoffman.

4. What scared you the most about Dolly Parton?
I thought she would tip over and/or lose her breath.

5. On a scale of one to ten, rate Jon Stewart’s hosting.
Seven.

6. Who would you like to see host next year’s awards? Why?
Steve Martin. I’ve always liked him.

7. Did the film montages seem like a ridiculous self-congratulatory waste of time to you? Why or why not?
Not really.

8. Favorite gown?
Michelle Williams’s

9. Express your opinion of whether or not writers of western novels who write award winning screenplays should get to wear jeans to the ceremony?
Hehe. But who cares; he won a freaking Oscar! (Though he did talk weirdly.)

10. Tom Hanks – what’s with the long hair?
His usual hairdresser was out of town?

11. Who’s hotter, George Clooney or Heath Ledger?
George Yum Clooney

12. How come we love Aussie/Kiwi/Brit/Welsh/Irish/Scots actors so much?
I can’t answer this one, I’m not American. :)

13. Reese – blonde or brunette?
Blonde.

Technorati: AWMondayMemes

“Blog is a dirty word”

There’s currently an article out in the local paper where it implies that by having a blog, I think I’m going to get a publishing deal. Well, my giddy freaking aunt.

I also (supposedly) said, ‘‘It’s cool for people to say ‘Oh I’ve got a blog’ without actually really having anything properly written, you know?’’ Um, what the hell does that actually mean?

Pfft. Forget the comedians at the Fringe Festival this week; I’m running my own comedy show here apparently.

Little Jen, Little Coffee Bar

—–Original Message—–
From: Mini
Sent: Wednesday, 1 March 2006 1:30 PM
To:  Jennifer
Subject: Hi dee ho!Hey Jen,

I saw that Cibos Express in Rundle Mall this morning.
It’s Jen size.

I let my friend Mini (Anthony) get away with this kind of thing because: a) he’s funny and b) it’s true.

Of course, if he was talking about the one on the corner of King William Road and Grenfell Street, then I’d have to revolt. That’s the biggest Cibo store I’ve ever seen.