A Conversation Relating To Democracy

“Jen, do you want to hide in the crowd or stand out from the crowd?”

Heart says stand out. Head says hide in.

Oh, the ramifications of a Jen-who-stands-out…

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yep, too hard for today.

I’ll think more about it tomorrow.

Terrorism-Flavoured Tuesday?

About 2:30 this afternoon, I’m on the phone to a client and suddenly a staff member announces over the PA system that “there is a situation on the ground floor” and to “please stand by.”

Obviously, Jen-Drama-Queen-Mode sets in. The client’s voice fades as I immediately start sorting through my bag for important contents that I am to take with me should we be evacuated; which, gauging from the announcer’s tone of voice, was highly probable.

The client’s voice fades in again, he’s asking me a ton of questions about document corruption and all I am thinking about is please stand by — so I tell him I will call him back.

I think one of the regulations in a fire drill is to drop everything and leave your belongings behind? So, in case I can’t take my bag, I decide I need:

• my notebook: there’s a fresh 2000 words in there for the novel that I’d rather not lose
• my wallet
• my phone (gotta call Hubby to tell him I am safe)
• my glasses
• my Peter Bowerman book (I’d rather not buy another copy)
• my security pass

Sure enough, the awful alarm sounds to signal an evacuation. I see everyone reaching for their bags anyway and so I chuck my selected items back into my bag and head for the door. I, along with the masses, make my way down the stairs while flashes of 9/11 TV coverage pop up in my head.

In order to keep myself calm, I crack bad jokes to those around me. Damn the announcer’s convincing tone. We have a situation…

After the fine scenery of (what seems like) endless cement corridors, I am glad to see daylight again.

Soon enough, we are across the road: chatting, wondering and chuckling over the time off work. My colleague tells me that at lunch time today the building across from where we are was also evacuated. Curious.

A person with one of those yellow fire warden hats informs us that a package had been left on the ground floor of our building. More chatting, wondering and chuckling occurs.

The next update is that there is to be no more cause for concern. It appears that a briefcase was accidentally left behind by someone.

And what about the other building? Well, it must’ve also been a victim of the forgetful, Adelaide corporate-goer who is evidently on the loose.

“Jumping At The Moon”

My mother picked up Jumping At The Moon by Venero Armanno for 50 cents at the library. She initially got it for the cover’s artwork and then asked if I wanted to read it.

I’ve been meaning to read his stuff; I’d even attempted to buy My Beautiful Friend at Borders bookstore (thanks Daniel) a couple of months back. It wasn’t available so I’d hoped to order it online instead. I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

With this ex-library book, I’d planned to read one of his stories, just to see his style — I found that it wasn’t what I expected at all. I read the next one, and then the next one and so on…

The stories are dark, edgy and confronting. Now I have almost read the entire book (I’m still trying to finish another non-fiction book on the side) and conclude that his stories are great. I think my favourite so far is Forgetful Fingers On The G String.

Jumping At The Moon (which I believe is now out of print, hence the lack of details at Amazon) is proving to be a little gem indeed. Luckily my mother was attracted to the front cover eh? I wonder if she’ll let me keep it.

Golden Compliment For Jen

I like reading your posts. It’s always like someone’s opened a window and let the breeze in. Hope you’ll do more!

A fellow AbsoluteWriter told me this last Friday. It certainly made my day, probably my week.

Everyone’s gotta have moments like these.

Give ‘em so you can get ‘em.

Little Kids On Love

The quotes below (sourced from a forum and which have probably been doing the rounds for years) are examples of the meaning of love, according to the following group of young children:

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
Karl – age 5

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.”
Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”
Bobby – age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”
Nikka – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”
Cindy – age 8

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”
Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”
Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”
Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”
Lauren – age 4

I can relate to a few of them: I sometimes check that Hubby’s coffee tastes OK (of course now he will be thinking that he’s been getting a secondhand caffeine fix all this time), Arky is always welcome to lick my face for therapeutic reasons, I do give Hubby the bigger and juicier piece of meat (hehe) but I am afraid little Lauren is yet to understand that it is certainly not a chore for her older sister to go out and buy new clothes…

Chill With Me

This week’s life lesson is: the cause of ear infections in dogs and how they can be prevented.

And I want to do things the natural way when it comes to my furry angel (I hate that his lil body is being loaded up with antibiotics for this); which prompted this buy today. Yes, I’ll be applying it to my own lifestyle too.

Sitting Pretty

Raptor says:
Audrey saw you on the bus once and you were asleep with your mouth open and drooling
Jennifer says:
F*** OFF — really?
Jennifer says:
Omg, that is funny
Jennifer says:
Luckily I am married and not looking
Raptor says:
Everything except the mouth open and drooling bit. That was my garnishing.
Jennifer says:
I figured as much

Do We Want A Waffling Human Race?

My father forwards writing tips to me daily – his entire work organisation gets them from a professional editor. One of the tips continued for 3 days, below is the third part which I received this morning. My thoughts: Tedious. Disagreeable. Doubtful.

Is that what you really mean (take 3)?

Apart from changing the subject, how else can we fix these sentences?

If the baby does not thrive on raw milk, boil it.

Sometimes the best solution is to start all over again.

The baby may not thrive on raw milk. If so, boil the milk and the baby should improve.

Expression can become more unwieldy (which of course is why the problem arose). If this is the case it may benefit your writing to reassess the structure of the paragraph or section.

I replied the following to my dad (refraining from replying direct to the editor):

Pfft.

Concision was lost by her rewrite of that sentence. Why make it 2 sentences? Why use thrive AND improve?

Better suggestions:

“If raw milk does not make the baby thrive, then boil the milk.”
“If the baby has not improved (thrived) with raw milk, then boil the milk (instead).”
“If raw milk does not make the baby improve (thrive) then boil the milk (instead).”

And a baby “thriving” is weird. Improve might be better.

Meh, she is promoting a waffling human race.

And the whole thrive thing is just weird. Don’t we need to know what it is about the baby that is thriving exactly? Do we assume it’s the health?

We are dealing with a baby here — not a piece of bacteria. Yikes.

Comment with your rewrites of the Is That What You Really Mean example if you can be bothered.

Meh, I just don’t like the example full stop. Unimpressed. Disagreeable. Doubtful.

And I’ll throw in Tedious just because.

Blossoming Behind My Back

I was checking that the sprinklers were functioning today and was pleasantly surprised by this display in my front garden.

“Death By Caffeine”

“dude i got hopped up on a Starbucks Frappucino thingy today and did these crazy aerial spinny kicks it was sweet”

“Shinobi”

Today I found out it would take 62.99 cups of brewed coffee to kill me.

You can assess your required dose here.

I’ve decided that it’s sensible for coffee (and my love for it) to have its own category.